The Sound of the Unlocking and the Lift Away August 2015
Here we are: it's the end! This essay marks the completion of my Master of Arts in Education (MAED). The program has been fascinating, nuanced, deeper, and more pragmatic than I originally anticipated. Getting a Master's degree was "the plan" I had concocted after graduating from Beloit College, but in ungrounded ways and for no true reason in particular (other than it worked in well with the Teaching Assistant Program that I was a part of). I did not seek a Master's degree to become a specialist, or to get certified. As it turns out, I sought a Master's as a bridge between my professional life during the program, and my professional life now.
It is important to acknowledge that I spent the last two years teaching kindergarten. Year one was magical: fresh, with an inspirational head teacher, and a class filled with "spirited" little ones. It was incredible. Year two, that faded (largely due to external factors, the children were still lovely). Within the first few days of the school year, I had a gut feeling that teaching was not going to be for me.
One of the first courses I took in this program was Leadership and Organizational Development. In this class, we watched a TED talk by Simon Sinek whose focus was on leading with "Why?" That is, leading with the central mission as the driving force. This got me thinking. Why did I teach kindergarten? Why did I want to stop? This lesson--keeping the true meaning of something, the catalytic aspect of any action at the core--carried through in a very real way once those first few days of kindergarten rolled around last fall. I began to wonder: did I enjoy teaching because of how fabulous my whimsical, natural head teacher was during the first year? Did I dislike it because of the stagnant, laminated space that embodied year two? Was it weak of me to turn away because of someone else's negative influence? Or--was I finally acknowledging the "Why?" (But in this case the, "Why not?")
The answer to that question was not enough to keep me in the teaching profession, but enough to see the year through. That important lesson of needing to know the push behind something, the purpose, carried over to my real experiences in a very practical way. The "Why?" was this: I love spending time with children. I think they are wonderful, hilarious, insightful, honest, creative, open, and joyful. That's why.
Yet, this lesson showed me that loving children was not so all-encompassing as to make me want to stay, as a teacher, for good. Understanding that I can have this passion for educating small children, while also knowing that it was time to move on, was surprisingly easier than I had expected. Through acknowledging my "Why?" (and my "Why not?") I was able to move forward in my career without feeling sorry about it. I made an informed decision to leave teaching, and had the purpose of that change at the core.
I felt equipped to enter the educational workforce after the completion of my term as a Teaching Assistant, largely due to this graduate program. Yes, my liberal arts undergraduate degree gave me roots (and confidence enough to leave the Midwest for Connecticut, alone), but the Master of Arts in Education program has given me wings. By explaining about the vast and varied impact of this program, I hope to illuminate just how influential this degree-granting experience has been.
The lens through which I viewed this program was twofold: present-focused and future-focused. Last summer, my courses were centered around leadership. This fall, I took classes that worked predominantly with aspects of the classroom experience. This spring, I enrolled in those largely focused on higher education. I'll begin with summer, 2014.
That was first term of my enrollment in the Master of Arts in Education program. I was bold and took two intensive courses, which meant six weeks were incredibly busy with important work. Additionally, I took one full-length course on adult learning. The two that had the largest impact were focused on educational leadership. Within these courses, I solved case studies and learned the importance of owning one's decisions. A fascinating insight from both of these leadership classes is the notion that a great deal of agency is involved in both leading and following. In addition, that agency and ability to make choices lends itself beautifully to the idea that there is always more than one solution. Understanding that the act of following a change is a choice was a huge mental shift for me: I had always thought of followers as doing so, mindlessly.
Those summer courses also showed me the ever-important need for authenticity. Leading from a place of phoniness, as I learned through Leadership & Organizational development (as well as my own life as a teacher), is wholly ineffective. Without a compelling, authentic spirit, it is my opinion that nothing of worth or value can be accomplished. That's another thing that struck me: how important it is to truly lead with soul.
After these realizations happened, fall came around. As aforementioned, my work life was less-than-pleasant. The weight of the graduate classes I enrolled in became even greater, as they were my saving grace throughout the school year seasons. In order to escape the plasticized space, I dove head-first into learning about Waldkindergarten, a form of nature-focused outdoor kindergarten that originated in Germany. To preface the remarks of appreciation for this learning, I'll mention that my head teacher from year one was incredibly Waldorf-inspired. Our classroom had a "Nature and Wonder Table;" we wrote poems about long walks; and students explored sorting stations, complete with driftwood and feathers. That, being my first year in teaching, was all that I knew outside of my past experience with art education. Upon enrolling in Creativity in Teaching and Learning, I knew that learning about nature in early childhood education would be fulfilling. I was able to visit a nature preschool in Mystic, Connecticut, and observed the remarkable affects of bringing education outside. Through this observation, in coordination with the other two theory- and history-based courses that fall, inspired my deepened appreciation for bringing children outdoors. Winter recesses had never been better.
Then, spring. I learned about budgeting and finance in higher education, about mental misconceptions, and about teaching and learning in collegiate contexts. This was the semester that blended my then-present of a classroom experience with my now-present in a higher education environment. From the pragmatic to the abstract (as abstract as asking a kindergartener what she thinks the United States of America look like), this was a fun and busy semester. Blended with job-hunting, there was a lot to accomplish in a shrinking amount of time. The financial and collegiate classes lent themselves well to my current understanding of the state of higher education, and left me feeling prepared to enter the workforce as a knowledgeable young professional.
As Bon Iver croons in one of my all-time favorite songs, "it's the sound of the unlocking and the lift away," and that's what this experience has been for me. An unlocking of knowledge, of potential, of voicing my opinions and valuing others'. It's been an experience in learning how my path could unfold exactly how I imagined, but not without twists and turns. And finally, the lift away, to now.